It’s fair to say COVID-19 has thrown us a curveball when it comes to dating. But the main thing it’s disrupted is the ‘meeting people’ part. The importance of forming meaningful connections hasn’t changed. If anything, we’ve come to understand exactly how important they are!

After the strange year we had in 2020, you might hope 2021 is the year when you graduate from being single to being in a secure, loving relationship. It’s absolutely possible! But sadly, many relationships reach their expiry date after three months. That’s because those couples weren’t the right fit. If you want a relationship that lasts, then you need to be more mindful about your approach.

This guide will help. Here are the five questions to ask yourself that will take you from being single to in a relationship that enriches your life on every level.

1) If you don't know what you want, how are you going to get it?

Imagine the scene. You’ve gone into the supermarket on the way home from work. You’re going to pick up some groceries so you can make dinner when you get back. You wander around the aisles, picking up what looks good or tasty.

Happy with your basket of goodies, you head home. But when you unpack everything, you realise you don’t have the right things to make any specific dish. Unless you want to make some kind of weird concoction that looks more like a science experience, you’re stuck.

Next time you go shopping, you have a list. You know what you already have at home, and what you need to make your favourite meal.

Apply the same thinking to a relationship. If you don’t know what you want, you don’t know where you’re starting from. That makes it hard to know where to go, or what approach to try. Figuring out what you want makes it much easier to find.

Need help with this? Check out our guide to creating a partner profile.

2) Are you ready for a relationship?

This might seem like an odd question, but sometimes people confuse not wanting to be single with being ready for a relationship. If you’re not sure where you stand, consider these extra questions.

- Are you keen to get to know someone or do you just want to see who’s around?

- Are you trying to date because you think you should, not because you want to?

- Deep down, do you just want an ego boost that you’re an attractive catch?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date around. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to talk to lots of new people. You can have a lot of fun that way and makes some great friends. 48% of people using online dating do so to have fun.

If you’re ready to meet someone you can share your life with, you’ll approach dating with a very different energy. And that’s okay too!

But at this point, you’ll need to be in the right shape for a relationship. Heal from your past relationships, let go of your ex-partners, and make sure you’re the best version of yourself. You’ll be able to navigate future relationship issues more smoothly. You’ll also connect with more grounded and secure people.

3) Where can you meet the right one for you?

I know, I know, COVID-19 has removed most of the places you might normally meet someone. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get a little creative—or get prepared for what we’ll do after lockdown!

If you’ve answered the first question, you’ll have a good idea of the type of person you want to meet. From this profile, figure out where this person spends their time. What kind of hobbies and interests do they have? How do they relax? What kind of places do they hang out at?

Look at how you’d answer those questions about yourself. Where’s the overlap? Are there similar (or the same) hobbies? Chances are, you’re more likely to meet the right one while doing those. Maybe your ideal person has hobbies you’d love to try, which gives you a good reason to give them a go. Does your ideal person hang out at a bar in a stand-up comedy venue you’ve always wanted to try?

You’re not trying to find places to go in the hope you bump into someone. Instead, you’re looking for those common areas where you can encounter more of the kind of people you’ll get on with.

These questions are even useful for evaluating online opportunities. Think of all the workshops, classes, Meetup groups, and lectures that happen online. Which ones would the right one for you go to?

4) How can you tell if they're worth dating? 

‘Worth dating’ has a few elements to it. Part of it is around figuring out if you want the same things. If they’ve told you they just want something casual and they’re not looking for commitment? Take them at their word. It’s not worth dating them in the hope they’ll change their mind.

But another part of it is asking how you can tell if they're compatible with you. Having similar interests is one thing, but do you share the same values? Do you have similar goals? If not, are you willing to support each other to achieve them anyway? How do you approach conflict? Compatibility works across several levels. But it means you’re able to share good times and work through issues when they come up. 

Remember our 4Cs of dating: communication, compromise/collaboration, consideration and compatibility. Can you talk about anything with them? Are you both working on the relationship? Do you take their needs into consideration when you make a decision? Have you got enough interests or values in common to carry your through? These questions will help you decide if they’re worth dating.

5) How do you know you've found real love?

This is perhaps the biggest question on the list. Don’t rush yourself to fall in love too soon or you risk overlooking red flags. Some people think that being unable to think of anything but them, or meeting their family is a sign of real love. But some of these things are more signs of infatuation than love.

Luckily, it’s more simple—and reliable—than that to work out if you’ve found the real deal. Ask yourself these questions: 

1. Are you both putting in the effort and working on the relationship together?

2. Can you relax and completely be yourself with this person? Do you feel safe being yourself around them?

3. Do you feel excited about the future? Does this person have a place in that future?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to all of these questions...then you’re well on your way to knowing if you’ve found real love!

Get Help Answering These Questions

Finding the right relationship is much easier when you work through these questions. They make sure you know what you want and where to meet the right people for you. These questions also make sure you’re the best ‘you’ you can be, and that you're building a life with a worthy partner. Then you can relax and enjoy the deep love that you’ve created together!

But you may want some support as you work to get the best answers to these questions. That’s where we come in. We can help you heal from the past, meet the right one for you, and enjoy the genuine love you deserve. 

Book a Love Blueprint Strategy call and get started on your Real Love journey in 2021!